Body Love

I love me.

But sometimes I feel unsure of myself -  in this skin - in this body.

The acne that comes and goes, the pain and swelling of fibroids, the highs and lows of this mood, wondering if I can have babies, along with all the mess that comes with ovulating in my thirties - sends me on a continuous up and down cycle each month, causing me to question my sanity…

Again leaving me feeling unsure in my skin - in this body.

But rather than live in the uncertainty, rather than allow the highs and lows and the pain to suffocate me, I choose to approach each day with grace and gratitude.

Gratitude for the pudge around my belly that sometimes lays flat and sometimes inflames to the size of a basketball reminding me that I carry my stress in my womb and it's time to breathe.

The newness of my inner thighs kissing one another as I walk. 

The suppleness of my breasts and the way they sit high reminding me that I still got it.

The curve of my lips and the new laugh lines that now surround them.

The mischievous glint in my eyes when I lean in for a kiss.

The love handles that he holds onto as I close my eyes, while he…well..ya know.

The gratitude I have for these same eyes that have given me the gift of sight.

The one bow leg I have that is just like my pops and hands that are reminiscent of my ma, that have been blessed to give and hold plenty of hearts and stories to share.

I’ve had to teach myself that the ups and downs of my cycle, hormonal changes, or having a random shitty, moody day does not equate to me not loving myself overall.  As women we can easily allow dips in our mood or our monthly flow to fuel our insecurities.  We gotta remember that Emotions are always IN MOTION.   Give yourself grace.  When you’re feeling low or unsure of what your body is doing, take some quiet time, pull out all the things that comfort you and love on yourself a little bit harder.

I love myself. 

But sometimes this skin, this body, leaves me feeling unsure of myself.

What about you?

photo taken from tumblr.